i can't remember if i slept last night
because my delusions always blur the line
so when i'm drifting out of consciousness
i feel my blood, as thick mud, begin to clog my vacant veins
and then it all makes sense
and i start to convinced myself you moved away
just so you could get away from me
i know it's probably all hysterics
but i can't help it
i keeps me up...

but when i'm walking by your house at night,
i still make sure not to close my eyes
in case you somehow reappear, shitfaced, sitting on your front porch
and i try hard to get myself up out of bed, but it's gotten so much harder
without your arms to pull me upright in the morning
but when i see you in my dreams, you bite
you tear out the pipebomb trapped inside of my chest, then you put it back
this time tethered to the right side
i'm doing my best to let you do everything that you claim that you need to
but i just keep breaking, and my face is turning blue

i have this fear of dying premature
i'm scared i'll meet my casket far too long before i should
that's why i'm petrified in public
i know that anyone could pull out a gun and shoot me point blank through my face
i know these nightmares don't make sense
but i have to confess that though i've learned to think
i still can't shake the surreality, and yes
i know you probably won't hear me out
i don't expect you to if it puts you down

it's when i'm walking by your house at night,
i still make sure not to close my eyes
in case you somehow reappear, shitfaced, sitting on your front porch
and i try hard to get myself up out of bed, but it's gotten so much harder
without your arms to pull me upright in the morning
but when i see you in my dreams, you bite
you tear out the pipebomb trapped inside of my chest, then you put it back
this time tethered to the right side
i'm doing my best to let you do everything that you claim that you need to
but i just keep breaking, and my face is turning blue

you could catch me on the back deck, blowing my life away
as we watch the smoke ascend along with all of our responsibilities...