1. |
Pregame
01:32
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2. |
Mike Doeren
03:01
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face down, again
buried in my bedsheets
headache seeping through my tv screen
it seems a little weird that my daydreams are far less realistic than the ones that i have when i'm asleep
holding onto heartbreak like hands we used to hold
a familiar strike against the senses, like stories you left untold
that i knew you didn't know that i knew them
and i still don't really feel like you have to
the only question left to ask is how did this happen?
what do i need to say to make things change?
and the matter of the fact is i hate that i'm like this, but what can i do?
i always hoped you wouldn't notice how much time i've wasted
on lonesome nights inside, i gaze my eyes
at the mirror looking just as hopeless as i do at this moment
i guess it's no surprise
i need to put more faith in myself
confess i wrote the letter i put on yourself
quit overcompensating for how numb i felt
denounce decisions i mistakenly thought would help
admit that there are things that i just can't control
use all this dirt to fill up every gaping hole
escape to a place that i can call my home, where i'm never alone
because you're never gone
because this isn't sustainable, just constantly walking in circles
until my legs give in, proceed to rub raw the skin on my shins from crawling on concrete again
it never ends.
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3. |
Collegetown
03:39
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when you talked about going home and i realized you were talking
about a dorm room in another city, my head began to spin
it finally clicked that you don't think of this as home
and by the way you dot your i's, i can tell if you've been crying
i can see right through the subtleties in all of the little things you do, even when i don't want to
i'm sorry i don't know how it always comes to this
my heart might beat right out of my chest and ride off into the sunset
and i'm happy to let things go back to the way they were before, but first you need to know
that i'm aware that in my youth, i couldn't recognize the truth
for what it was until it blew up in my face
and though it's true that i'm not new to feeling lost, i must include
that i still don't know how the hell i got here in the first place
and god i'm afraid that any day, i'll lose my will to keep my faith
and throw my body down into the baltic sea
and as i plummet, i'll be humming that one song that you were drumming
on my pillow while i slept beside your feet
or was that just a dream?
i think i found a solution
i call it never leaving home
but i desperately need to warn you
i can't do this on my own
lately, i'm trying to stop feeling so caught up
in keeping everything to myself
just cause it's always better when
i can just drag down somebody else
i hope you feel better now.
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4. |
That's Not Dinner Talk
04:12
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Pardon how I don't beg around
or hang out down on my knees,
but I'll say please.
And you won't give thought to that, but I'll ask
And that fact might Make it hard to believe
I couldn't care less about your word back, I'm fucking free
And my message you've read it,
Held it down and repressed it
And that's good enough for me.
And you'll have to accept that there's a bond that we both lack (lost)
That would have helped me feel at ease when the room was spinning
Had I known that before you turned your back
And walked away
I'd never stay
(Hey)
We made you
And we did everything we thought we could do
To be there for you
As all for one
but one for a few
And now you've gone
And buried that right where you're standing atop The ground
Pretty, proper, and proud
Drunken distress tends to give us something to say
But I'm asleep by my phone
Like there's not time today
If you'd only meant it sober
Then we could talk and that would be great
But I just don't think that I have the time
To try to rationalize with a snake
So if you go, then stay away
And pretend that I'll miss you til my dying day
I believe that it's hate
that makes me this way
But don't test my faith
And stay away
We made you
And we did everything we thought we could do
To be there for you
As all for one
but one for a few
And now you've gone
And buried that right where you're standing atop The ground
Pretty, proper, and proud
So thank you
For the toxic, backwards, miserable youth
That you put me through
Cause I can say I'm better than you
And I hold myself to a far more understandable standard somehow
I feel higher now
But I was smarter when I was a liar
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5. |
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there was courage in the kitchen
on the bottle shelf of the pantry
another bandage for my broken will
and my window, like a picture frame
exposes footprints in the snow
that pave a road back to your hollow home
i noted everything you'd say
every question and every phrase
embedded in my brain
to keep me from going insane
you would think i'd be frank when i thanked all my demons for making the seasons feel less about
leaving myself in a bend once again
kiss the leaves on the trees for allowing my body to breathe
then you found me, lying, waiting
in a pitch black cloak of night
within a bedroom i still wasn't used to yet
and then you cast some sacred spell on me
you summoned black holes around your eyes
designed to pull me into them
i hope this is the end
wasteland, eternally elated
happenstance, common cultist, wear your hand
eight toppled trashcans like smoking guns
bow down beneath a burning sun
then vanish, vampire, for once for good.
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6. |
Barrel Roll!
02:37
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i don't know what it is
about your new tattoo that gets under my skin
but i felt pretentious, so i never even mentioned it
yet you still tried to explain
so then i tried to run
felt like i had to throw up
then just before i got caught
my medication wore off
most nights i still feel like i lack a fundamental sense of purpose
it feels like everyday i make the same damn mistakes
i drowned the devil, now i'm waiting for his lifeless corpse to surface
i wonder if he'll just stay at the bottom of the lake
i'm on the road
but i need to know how long before
i can come home
i'm all alone again and i need my friends to know
i'm stuck in the snow
but i don't feel cold, this is getting old
i need someone to hold me close
my nose is falling off my face...
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7. |
Missed Call
04:08
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i'm gonna have to call you back
this has to be the worst damn morning that i've ever fucking had
i don't know how close i'll come to feeling like myself again
before the next time i wake up wasted, wondering where i am
i could really use somebody's help
last night i lost my keys and coat and phone and now i'm locked out of my goddamn house
i don't remember where we were when i lost my consciousness
the only memory i have is of you standing in my room in your floral dress
wake up, still drunk off
the last thing you said as you walked away
try to remember
the reason your insides are in the sink
your night gown, a thorn crown
the claws on your halo demand you bleed
slow down and cough out
the poison that made you fall half asleep
because if you don't soon, you're gonna wish you changed your tune
when your wallet's sitting empty
and your breath wreaks to death of booze
could this be why i'm sifting through my moods like phases of the moon
since i last saw you?
with both your hands shaking
your chin buried in your coat
you're tracing the snow as it slides across the outside of your window
then as subtle as a whisper
i hear you sputter out a sigh
and right as i try to grab your hand up off your thigh
you turned your face to meet mine, looked me dead in the eyes
and said
when will i learn that my body can't take this?
and when will i care that my habits aren't harmless?
and when will i try to mend my misdoings?
and who will it help if you've never fixed anything at all?
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